I'm losing the world, one day at a time

we lost you today
sickness took over until you were a ghost of your old self
just a shell of something you used to be

My lips were salty and my mouth was dry
and they let me hold you
as you went away
they let me press my lips to your forehead
one last time

And I tried to be strong, okay
I tried so hard to be strong for you,
I didn't want you to be scared,
I wanted to ease your worries and fears
but I couldn't help it

I couldn't stop the tears as you left easy
as you closed your eyes and fell asleep
because you were gone, now
you were gone and I'm still crying
dragging my shirt up to rub at my sore eyes

I don't know if I'll ever stop crying
I'm scared because I lost you
I'm scared because
now you're going to start fading away
into nothing but memories and stories and fleeting thoughts

I'm selfish
I know I am,
I'm so fucking selfish because I wish you were still here
even though you couldn't do much anymore
you couldn't walk or eat
but you were here, and I could touch your face and pet your head
and whisper to you late at night
you were here and you were breathing
and now you're just not

I'm selfish because I wish you were still here
even though your bones ached and
your eyes dulled
because sick is pain
but sick is better than nothing at all